“I still have many things to say to you but you cannot bear them now.” - John 16:12

I bitterly read this verse and wrestled with it for a while today. I wrestled with God. “Why can’t You just tell me what you are apparently longing to say? You have all these things to tell me but You think I can’t handle them? God, seriously? I want to hear You! Why would you think that? I need to hear them! Do you not hear me crying out to You? Have you forgotten my prayers? I don’t know what else to do. Why do You have to be so difficult? I have no idea what I’m doing right now - I’m stuck and I need guidance that only You can give to me so why can’t you shed some light onto this situation? Shed some light into my life?” 

Of course, after my mind settled down a bit, I realized my foolishness and started laughing to myself. Who was I to question God? Honestly, I think this verse is directed at each one of us. We complain about how we don’t hear the voice of God - how we don’t know what we’re supposed to do or where we’re supposed to be. We’re just there. Confused. Yet do we do anything about it? We forget that there might be a reason that God is silent. Perhaps it could be a test of patience and perseverance. Or just simply a test of faith. Perhaps He is silent because we still have potential for spiritual growth. Maybe He’s waiting to shed His wonderful wisdom upon us for when we have started to completely surrender our downfalls and insecurities to Him. Maybe He is waiting for us so stop keeping certain things from Him. He wants all of it. If He were to tell you everything right now, perhaps you wouldn’t even understand it because maybe you aren’t at a point spiritually where that wisdom would make sense. Or maybe you might even take it for granted because you wouldn’t understand the significance of it. 

I’m not saying that calling out to God for wisdom is a bad thing because it’s not. In fact, God encourages us to do so. I’m just saying that maybe part of the reason for the silence of God is ourselves. We must really examine our hearts and figure out what is stopping us from growing in Christ.